DRYVILLE, MT – A local man from Dryville, Montana, has become a national hero after he single-handedly extinguished a raging wildfire that threatened to destroy his town by urinating on it.
The man, who wishes to remain anonymous, said he was driving home from a bar when he saw the flames approaching his neighborhood. He said he had no choice but to pull over and relieve himself on the fire, which miraculously went out after a few minutes.
“I was just doing what any man would do in that situation,” he said modestly. “I had a lot of beer that night and I really needed to go. I didn’t think it would make a difference, but I guess I have a powerful stream.”
The man said he was not aware of his heroic deed until he saw it on the news the next day. He said he hopes his story will inspire others to drink more water and stay hydrated.
“I’m glad I could help my town and save lives,” he said. “But I don’t want any fame or recognition. I just want to be left alone and enjoy my beer in peace.”
The local authorities praised the man for his quick thinking and bravery, but also warned others not to try to replicate his feat.
“We are very grateful for what this man did, but we don’t recommend anyone else to pee on fires,” said Fire Chief Bob Smith. “It’s very dangerous and could cause serious burns or infections. Plus, it’s not very hygienic or environmentally friendly.”
Smith added that the best way to prevent wildfires is to follow safety guidelines and avoid creating sparks or leaving flammable materials unattended.
“We don’t want people to think that they can just pee their way out of trouble,” he said. “That’s not how it works.”
The man’s identity remains a mystery, but some locals have speculated that he might be Chuck Norris or Bear Grylls in disguise.