Innocent Girlfriends: Gaming Consoles Spontaneously Combusted

broken console

In a bizarre and startling discovery, men in relationships are returning home from work to find their gaming consoles in flames, with no explanation from their girlfriends who were home all day. The phenomenon, dubbed “Console Combustion Syndrome,” has caused extensive damage to consoles and homes across the country.

“Something strange is definitely going on,” said Jack, a resident of New York City. “My PS5 just burst into flames out of nowhere, and my girlfriend was just watching TV like nothing was happening. It’s like she’s in on it or something.”

According to experts, the phenomenon is not occurring in men without partners, leading many to question the connection between the two. “It’s clear that something about being in a relationship is causing these consoles to spontaneously combust,” said relationship expert Dr. Melissa Chen. “It could be jealousy, boredom, or a need for attention. But we need to get to the bottom of it.”

Many of the affected men seem more concerned with their relationship status than the loss of their electronics. “As long as she’s okay, that’s all that matters,” said Tim, a resident of Los Angeles. “I don’t care about the PS5, I just don’t want her to leave me over this.”

But for others, the damage is too great to ignore. “I can’t believe she would do this to me,” said Dave, a resident of Chicago whose Xbox Series X caught fire. “I mean, I know I’ve been neglecting her lately, but this is just ridiculous.”

As for the girlfriends of the affected men, many are denying any involvement and claim to know nothing about the spontaneous combustion. “I was just watching ‘Real Housewives’ all day,” said Rachel, a resident of Miami. “I don’t know what he’s talking about.”

Despite the denials, experts are calling for an investigation into the phenomenon. “We need to get to the bottom of this before it’s too late,” said Dr. Chen. “It’s clear that being in a relationship is causing these consoles to burn out. But why? That’s the million-dollar question.”

In the meantime, men in relationships are being urged to keep a close eye on their gaming consoles and their partners. “It’s important to make time for your partner and show them the attention they deserve,” said a spokesperson for the National Fire Protection Association. “Otherwise, you might come home to a pile of ashes where your console used to be.”

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