In a historic move, President Joe Biden signed into law the biggest infrastructure bill in decades, known as the “Roads, Bridges, and Tunnels to Nowhere Act of 2023.” The bill, which received overwhelming bipartisan support, promises to revolutionize the country’s transportation system by funding the construction of countless new highways, bridges, and tunnels across the nation. 

Critics, however, are calling the bill a boondoggle of epic proportions, with many questioning its effectiveness and true purpose of the bill. 

“This bill is a complete waste of taxpayer money,” said Republican Senator Tom Smith. “We’re building roads and bridges to nowhere, and for what? So that people can drive to the middle of nowhere faster? This is ridiculous.” 

Despite the criticism, the White House is standing by the bill, saying that it will create jobs and stimulate economic growth. “This bill will put Americans back to work and help our economy recover from the pandemic,” said Press Secretary Jen Psaki. “Plus, it will finally give people the opportunity to drive to their favorite ghost town in record time.” 

The bill also includes provisions for the construction of numerous tunnels, including a tunnel connecting Hawaii to Alaska, and a tunnel connecting Florida to California. 

“Tunnels are the future of transportation,” said Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg. “Why waste time and resources on pesky things like bridges and roads when we can just dig straight through the earth? It’s a win-win.” 

The bill is already having a major impact on the country’s transportation system. Drivers are now experiencing longer commutes and getting lost in rural areas more frequently. The economy, however, is booming as the construction industry is seeing a surge in jobs and growth.