Campaign To End Campaign Signs

Alex Rainone Campaign Sign

An Independent candidate for Seekonk town council is causing waves in the political arena today. Candidate Alex Rainone (I) is calling for all political yard signs to be taken down. His reason, he is ugly and his opponents are not. Rainone stated “It’s a known fact that the good-looking candidates win all the elections, I am not good-looking. These yard signs are giving my competition an unfair advantage and it needs to stop now.” Mr. Rainone continued. “These guys are taking advantage of the taxpayers. I’m ugly, so I know how it feels to be discriminated against. I just want to make a difference in this town and make it a better place for everyone.”

The statements by Mr. Rainone have residents confused and on edge. Wendy Ripple of Seekonk said, “This makes absolutely no sense, candidates don’t even put their picture on yard signs.” Although there is dissent, the call for no yard signs is getting some traction. Edward Singleton of Seekonk said “I’m not sure if I agree with his reasoning, but I would love to put an end to yard signs, they look hideous. I’ve been taking them down since they started going up, banning them would save me so much time.”

His opponents could not be reached for comment as they were too busy staring at themselves in their bathroom mirrors and gawking at their own beauty while they brushed their teeth with Crest 3D White toothpaste this morning…

The Candidate will be holding a rally tomorrow a The Seekonk Town hall to promote his new campaign motto “End Campaign Signs Now!”

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