Biden Administration To End Ohio

Wall Around Ohio

Tiktok has once again proven how powerful it’s influence can be. The social media site has convinced the Biden Administration to end Ohio. With the recent uptick in tiktok memes bashing the state, the President has decided to pull the plug. The recent memes have painted a dark picture of Ohio, full of crime, violence, and poverty.

The Administration has decided to not only take the state out of the Union, but to completely wall it off from surrounding states. This is not a decision that was made lightly. The Administration has consulted with experts in the field of Ohioology, and it has been determined that this is the best course of action for all parties involved.

The Biden Administration will soon begin the process of dismantling Ohio. The first step will be to remove all the people from the state and displace them throughout the country. After that, a 20-foot wall will be constructed around the state. Then all infrastructure will be removed from the state including roads, hospitals, libraries, schools, fire stations, etc. All buildings including houses and stores will be bulldozed or set on fire to ensure there is nothing left of Ohio at all. Soon after this process begins there should be no trace that Ohio ever existed at all.

The Governor of Ohio, John Kasich, is livid at the decision. In a news conference today he said, “We have a lot of great things going on in Ohio. Sure there are some issues but that’s every state. If you’re going to end an entire state over some tiktok memes you’re not fit to be President.” In response to this Biden said, “The people have spoken, Ohio must go.” Kasich said he was going to hold a rally in Columbus this weekend to try and save the state.”I’m going to try and talk some sense into the President,” Kasich said. “I’ll be meeting with him this weekend to discuss it.” Biden did not respond when asked about the meeting but told reporters, “This is a good thing. I’m doing it for the people of Ohio.”

Ohioans are upset at this decision and are planning on protesting the administration’s decision in front of the White House on November 9th. Ohioans feel that they have been treated unfairly. “We’re not even sure where we will go now,” said one resident from Columbus Ohio. “I guess I’ll just have to move to Pennsylvania since Michigan and Indiana are almost as bad as Ohio.”

The process is set to begin next month, on December 1st, 2022 at 11:00 AM Eastern Standard Time (EST). At that time all power and water from within the state will cease to exist and all internet connections from within the state will be disconnected permanently. All interstate highways leading into or out of Ohio will also close permanently as well as all major roads leading into or out of the state; this includes I-90/I-80 between New York/Pennsylvania and Michigan/Indiana as well as I-70.

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